Hurts

This morning as I was spending time in the word, I read Psalm 16:8-9 and felt it was a really important one to soak deep into my heart and mind. It says, "I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore, my heart is glad and my glory rejoices. My flesh also will rest in hope."  

As I began to memorize and meditate on that, I began speaking out loud to God about His goodness and praising Him for who He is. I began praising Him and saying, "You have unlimited power, love, grace, mercy ..." Then I began making statements about the fact that He never abandons me, never condemns me, never forsakes me, etc. When it came to my mind to state that He never hurts me, I found that I did not have the steadfast assurance to say it right away. So I began asking Him why that was such a hard thing for me to proclain.

He showed me that all my life, I have heard how God disciplines us to sharpen us and strengthen us. I have heard how He tests us and that he is a stern God who punishes us just like He punished Israel. He showed me that I have always related those things with emotion. For instance, when a parent spanks their child or slaps their hand to protect them from putting something in the light socket, etc, there is always an emotional reaction involved besides pure love. The parent is usually reacting out of anger or frustration or fear.  Because of my human nature, I cannot perceive true unlimited and unconditional love, where discipline and trials are part of the big picture that I cannot see. But He can. He truly will not "hurt" me, even though I may perceive it as such, because of my limited knowlege and understanding.

I then spoke and forgave my parents for punishing me and disciplining me with reactive negative emotion, I forgave those who have spoken those words that made that impression of God for me. I forgave myself for the times that I have beat up my own self. I asked Him to forgive me for perceiving Him as someone who would hurt me, when I know that is not true.

Though I still cannot completely fathom the depths of this, I do know that I am not the only one who struggles with this notion. I know that He wants me to know Him for the good God that He is - that He wants me to fear Him with a fear that drives me TO Him, not away from Him. And I know that this particular issue is HUGE when it comes to the ability to completely and absolutely trust Him for everything, in every circumstance.

That fear of hurt holds many of us back from "always setting the Lord before us" (as it says in the scripture above), or always thinking of Him as we go about our daily life. Sometimes we hope that He is going to spare us from painful situations if we just can slip by under His radar and not make waves. Sometimes we get so consumed by the pain that we can only look up and say "why, God - why does this have to be?" And deep in our heart we grasp at anything to resolve - or at least - cover up the pain.

But that scripture says that when I set God always before me - keep my eyes on Him and walk in His Kingdom every minute:

• I am glad, filled with His joy;
• My glory rejoices  - the bible dictionary defines glory in this context as the external things upon which the people depend, and the possession of which is the ground of their confidence.
• My flesh will rest in hope - stress and anxiety will not affect my body.

By understanding that the thought that He will hurt me is a lie, I replace it with the truth of His word - that I have been redeemed and forgiven (Col 1:14), I am free forever from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), I cannot be separated from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39), I can find grace and mercy in time of need (Heb 4:16), I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm (Eph 2:6), and that I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph 3:12).

All this does not mean we won't go through times of pain and trial - we know that we will (God's word says that too) but that those situations are the times we can go to God for His peace and help - and He will extend His amazing grace to us for the things we suffer because of this fallen world. He does discipline us too - but Jesus came to show us that this discipline is imparted out of love instead of fear, anger or frustration. He weeps with us and rejoices with us - and the angels do too!

More than ever, I am determined to take worldly thoughts captive and turn my thoughts back to Him in every part of my day. I thank God that He is showing me more of who He is minute by minute. As Paul said in Philippians 3:12-14  ^"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. (The message bible)

Love and blessings to all who read this post!

Patti